Getting It Done

I finished chapter 4 of the second draft today. It's hard to rehash painful times, but it needs to be done to properly tell the story. I don't talk much about this process in person, because I don't want to deal with the skepticism and doubts.

No, it's not a libelous hate book about my ex. This is my story about me, though I suppose credit is in order since there would be no book if there wasn't a cheater to start the narrative. I do think I can put a unique spin on an old autobiographical tale. This book isn't for the people around me. It's for those I haven't met yet who will go through the same fire. I want them to know they'll come out ok on the other side.

I have so many doubts that I don't need to hear anyone else's doubts about my work. I don't know why I'm suddenly moving this project forward at such a clip. There's a drive coming from somewhere, but I can't identify the location. I just get up each morning and move the book forward because the spirits/forces/wind/voices in my head tell me to do so. 

My memoir game feels weak (as does this post) so I'm revisiting Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird. I read it years ago. I recalled her chapter called "shitty first drafts" as I completed my own horrible first effort. It's bad, and that's ok.

Now I'm revisiting Bird to get inspiration for the second draft. So far it's working. This process won't be pretty, but I will see it through because this story is telling itself for those who need to hear it.